the answer is no longer 42.
the somewhat innocent and mildly childish outlook on life i used to have is being thrown out, im taking a new lease on life and busting my ass to get where i wanna be, no more "im gonna" its now " i am" i have a job interview for a signwriters apprenticeship tomorrow, and if i dont get it, i bust my ass for a week preparing a brand new commercial portfolio, as i'll admit, im not that well prepared folio-wise for this interview.

i was listening to music earlier today, and had somewhat of an epiphany, brought on by, all of all genres, country music.

A Garth Brooks song called "standing outside the fire"

it goes like this:



We call them cool
Those hearts that have no scars to show
The ones that never do let go
And risk the tables being turned

We call them fools
Who have to dance within the flame
Who chance the sorrow and the shame
That always comes with getting burned

But you've got to be tough when consumed by desire
'Cause it's not enough just to stand outside the fire

We call them strong
Those who can face this world alone
Who seem to get by on their own
Those who will never take the fall

We call them weak
Who are unable to resist
The slightest chance love might exist
And for that forsake it all

They're so hell-bent on giving ,walking a wire
Convinced it's not living if you stand outside the fire

Standing outside the fire
Standing outside the fire
Life is not tried, it is merely survived
If you're standing outside the fire

There's this love that is burning
Deep in my soul
Constantly yearning to get out of control
Wanting to fly higher and higher
I can't abide
Standing outside the fire

Standing outside the fire
Standing outside the fire
Life is not tried, it is merely survived
If you're standing outside the fire

Standing outside the fire
Standing outside the fire
Life is not tried, it is merely survived
If you're standing outside the fire



so, as it goes, this is my new life philosophy.